Okay so…. My weight is outta damn control. But I resent those numbers on that scale. I resent them because they are soooo unsexy. When I look in the mirror I don’t see some obese beast that looks unfortunate and is cramming food in her mouth all day everyday. Quite the contrary… I feel like I look damned good. Not that men are the barometer for how I feel about myself, but I’ve never had a problem getting attention from men. Maybe it’s my gorgeous face… I remember having a recent conversation with a friend where she relayed to me how her skinny friends asked her “if you weren’t cute do you think you would have lost the weight by now?” *pause* Re-read. That was an actual question and I can’t even be mad at it. I just remember her saying that and I cocked my head to the side while I pondered the question. I think they have a point.

If you feel good and still get A ( ass/ action/ whichever) then you probably don’t see a problem with the current state of your body. I know I haven’t. Besides the occasional feeling of frumpiness when I go to try on a size 16 and it doesn’t fit, I feel okay about me and this functioning body I was blessed with. Back to those numbers on that scale… They represent me as a statistic. I’m another morbidly obese black woman *face palm*. But how did I get here? That story is for another post, but it is definitely due to emotional eating, lack of discipline, addiction to sugar, and the acceptance of fat in my community. Y’all, I gotta change this. Stay tuned.